Wednesday, April 11, 2012

just say no

I'm on the mend, recovering from my annual cold. Every spring when the sun comes out and the germs thaw (science!) I fall ill. Yesterday was the peak and I felt like I had swallowed fiberglass and had an anvil implanted in my brain. Colds have the same effect on me as I imagine marijuana would. I don't know what actual effect marijuana has on me because I've been drug free for 26 years. Unless caffeine is a drug. If caffeine is a drug then I've been drug free for two minutes. But back to my point: When sneezing and coughing I tend to get the munchies and my brain works at half speed. After eating what must have been fifty percent of a bag of tortilla chips, I decided to step away from my self destructive snacking and go to the bank because I'm out of checks. Bless that poor bank teller's heart. She tried so hard to understand me when even i couldn't understand myself.
"Is your address the same?"
"Yes. No. What?"
"Is your address the same?"
"I moved."
" what's your address?"
"In Utah or here?"
"I lived in Utah."
"Ok, what's your address here?"
"Oh. Right."
Somehow I managed to tell her the coordinates and get out of the bank without causing harm to myself or others, as far as I know. Then I got home and ate probably 40 mini cadburry eggs and avoided operating heavy machinery the rest of the day.

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