Friday, July 29, 2011


The ultra-sound technicians are 70% sure it's a girl. So I'll only buy 70% of baby's wardrobe now. Just in case. Baby looks a lot like me, long legs, long arms, round tummy. She (yeah, I'm going to go ahead and start using she. I mean, 70% is a passing grade, right?) was sucking her thumb and doing gymnastics when we checked in on her. She was also a little embarrassed when we were trying to determine her gender, and she covered her private area with her hand. She's modest. Once again, this is very real, and we're very excited.

Monday, July 25, 2011

more mature

So far I've found $16.25 while organizing today. I also went to Home Depot, which is always a blast, and I'm not being snarky. I love Home Depot. I love the array of people at Home Depot on a Monday morning. I think most of them are bored, and flock to the home repair mecca, where they can buy the materials to start any number of projects, and never finish them.

This Friday we may be able to find out the gender of Baby W. "What?" you ask. "How can that be at only 14 weeks?". Well, let's just say I know a guy. And buy a guy, I mean a radiologist. Who works in a hospital. Not out of the back of a van. So, your guesses? I think it's a girl. Stephen thinks it's a boy. And for possible the first time ever, one of us will be 100% correct.

Sunday, July 24, 2011

I won't go go go

Hi blog. Sorry I've been so inattentive, and treated you like my Tamagotchi (which I loved at first, then forgot to feed, and then watched die, multiple times.) This past week was my first week of unemployment, and I was uber busy doing...nothing. As always, I had all the best intentions of getting our apartment cleaned and packed, but the days just seemed to slip away from me. Between naps, pedicures and pool time, I accomplished nothing more than reading a Young Adult novel. Meg, For The Win. So here's hoping that this week will prove somewhat more productive. I will be taking a break from packing on Thursday night to share a story at The Porch. 9pm, Muse Music in Provo. I'll be sharing some painful memories, so come see me turn red.
One final thought: At the pool there was a little boy named Jagger. As in Mick. I mean, I guess I'm not one to judge, since we plan to name Baby Walter after Otis Redding if it's a boy. But Jagger? After the man known for serious partying and womanizing? Am I being a prude?

Monday, July 18, 2011

lego my eggo

Guys, I'm really pregnant. Up until this afternoon I was still not convinced. I thought maybe the p-test and blood work were both false positives, and maybe the nausea was due to a three month case of food poisoning. I grew even more skeptical when my doctor failed to find the heart beat with the doppler. Then they brought in an ultra sound machine, hooked me up, and I stared at what looked to me like an empty womb. But then the nurse said, "There's your baby, and there's its beating heart." And there it was, a little nubbin, with a little flutter. "Oh My Gosh, there's really a baby in there," I said to the nurse, a little teary-eyed. She nodded, which was nicer than saying "No duh."

Today I also had my first vomiting in public episode. I remember years ago filling my car with gas at the nearest 7-11, and in disgust watching the woman next to me puke repeatedly into a trash can. "Sorry," she said to me. "I'm pregnant." I remember thinking "Woman! Hide yourself from society. Go home and don't leave until you're recovered" I also thought, "If this is what pregnancy is about, count me out." I obviously forgot about that latter part, and I obviously have come to better understand the 7-11 puker and her plight. It happens without warning, which is why during my run this morning I stopped at a bus stop on a rather busy street, and ejected my stomach's contents into the waste bin.

Friday, July 15, 2011

you'll always be a part of me

Hey guys,
Man. It's been a good 13 years. I guess tonight we'll say farewell, for now. Thanks for the adventures. Thanks for the escape. Thanks for growing up with me. I hope my children love you as much as I do. And I hope that heaven is like Hogwarts.
Until we meet again.

Thursday, July 14, 2011


There are so many things wrong with the latest Transformers installment. So, so many. I would write about each of them, but I only have 40 minutes left on my lunch break. Also, I'm lazy. So I'll just cover those issues that bothered me most.
It's time to hire a new stylist. Frances McDormand (whose reasons for being in this movie MUST be financially motivated) has horrible hair. And horrible clothes. Those of you who see me outside of the internet are probably thinking, "Meg, you haven't done your hair in weeks. Also, you only wear jeans and T-shirts." Yes, I know. That's why I carry a tote bag. Frances, however, was carrying a Birkin bag. If carrying a Birkin bag, you had best be wearing Jimmy Choos and the latest and greatest from the world's top designer. Not what Frances was wearing. It's inconsistent.
Also, pretty blond whose name I can't remember, had multiple earrings in one ear. Hey there, 1996. I think the earrings were purchased at Claires. This is a multi-million dollar movie. Go to Saks.
Speaking of pretty blond, she is indeed very pretty. And there were well over fifty shots that looked just like this:

Which is fine. I get it. Hot girl, hot cars, a money making movie makes. So why the talking cars? Ugh. The talking cars. Half of them spoke like a New Jersey stereotype, the other like Yoda/Richard III. And one of them can't speak at all. I don't know why. But back to the girl. She's good at screaming. She's good at staying clean during a Robopocalypse. She's bad at closing her mouth. She also puts up with way too much from Shia LaBuffoon, who spends most of the movie yelling about how awesome he is and how the president gave him a medal, and the rest snapping at his girlfriend who is way out of his league. Her usual reponse is "that's adorable." It's not.
I don't know what happened in the final hour of the movie. It was impossible to pay attention.
I'm tired of writing about this. Just know that it's super rough for many other reasons.

Tuesday, July 12, 2011

filed this report

I walked into the restroom and nearly walked right into the man holding the cell phone. I stared at him. He stared at me. I think we were both thinking, "Dude. You're in the wrong bathroom." I started to doubt myself. Maybe I had walked into the Men's room. It wouldn't be the first time. But then I remembered checking the sign. I was right. He was wrong. And after a few more seconds of staring he said, "This is the women's room, isn't it." "It is," I replied. He scurried off, and I felt proud. Proud that for once it wasn't me that embarrassed myself and everyone within twenty miles. Glad that other people have Meg moments in their lives.

I'm 11.5 weeks pregnant and I constantly look like I just finished eating a large burrito.

Monday, July 11, 2011

i saw her today

Stephen bought some laundry detergent and had the following interaction with the Harmons cashier:

Stephen: Can I also get a roll of quarters?
Cashier: (Mumbles something just below the level of human ear detection) Do you want the quarters   first?
Stephen: Ummm...what?
Cashier: (Fails to hide her annoyance) DO YOU WANT THE QUARTERS FIRST?
Stephen: No. Second.
Stephen: (Unable to just let it go) Why would I want the quarters first?
Cashier: You might want to pay with them.
Stephen: I might want to pay with the quarters that I'm paying for?
Cashier: (Holds the roll of quarters and stares at Stephen for twenty seconds) Are you going to pay for these?
Stephen: Oh. I wanted to put it on the card.
Cashier: Well then you should have hit "Cash Back"
Stephen: (Luckily finds $10 bill in wallet and hands it to the cashier, then walks away slowly).
Stephen to Me: The purpose of my existence is to provide content for your blog.

Thank goodness for that.

Thursday, July 7, 2011

they lipgloss sheep

I love this. I love that there is not only a picture of the animal whose flavor this cup of noodles is based on, but the animal is also smirking as if to say "Go ahead, eat this cup of noodles with a flavor based on the taste of me." There's no beef in the cup. I read the ingredients.The little brown chuncks are soy protein (YUM). Maybe they included the illustration to help non-english speakers distinguish between the various cup-o flavors, even though I'm willing to bet all flavors have the exact same ingredients. The shrimp flavor icon looks a lot like a chubby worm, so sales of that variety are probably down. Or maybe there's a market for chubby worm cup-o-noodles. You never know.
Anyway, this is my favorite food lately.

Wednesday, July 6, 2011

on the team bus

IN a month we're moving to Boulder, CO. What? You thought we were moving to Athens, GA? That was silly of you. Where did you get that idea? Oh, that's right. I probably told you we were moving to Athens, because we were in fact planning on residing in Georgia up until two weeks ago. Stephen recieved his acceptance letter from CU, and all of the sudden we both thought YES. BOULDER. LET'S DO IT. So we've revamped our life plans. I'm glad that Baby Walter will be a seven hour drive away for grandparents. I'm glad that we'll still see mountains every day. I'm glad that "humidity" won't be a word I say much. And I'm glad that this (click if you dare) is not a native of Colorado. I'm sure we would have loved Georgia, but we already love Boulder.