when you're a stranger

Let me start by saying that we, Stephen, Ivy, Ollie and I really like Longmont, our small Colorado town. We're surrounded by warm, friendly people, trees whose leaves have just begun to turn, a handful of gourmet food shops, and parks on every corner.

All those things said, we're pretty sure that Longmont was originally founded by extraterrestrials.

As one drives into Longmont they are greeted by this:

I believe this is where the space ship originally landed and the sphere is still used to communicate with the mother ship. The feathers are for aesthetic purposes only, obviously.

Drive down main street and you'll see this:

This covers the entire side of a building. That cat is at least 6-feet. The "visitors" must of misunderstood what a business logo is meant to be. Sidebar: We took Ollie to Paws & Claws once and they shaved off his beard. Aliens aren't well-enough acquainted with the various grooming standards for dog breeds to run a grooming service.

And this:

This mural is on the side of a store. I don't know what they sell, but I'm pretty sure it's not dead Native-American Women. Space travelers are slightly racist.

Take a turn on 9th and you'll see this:

What I really should have photographed were the people walking in and out of this smoke shop. Proof that the unearthly species still dwells here. 

 Walk around McIntosh Lake and you'll run into this:

Two Alien hands entwined in the intergalactic symbol of love.

And finally, as one exits Longmont by way of Ken Pratt Boulevard (one of the two Ken Pratt Boulevards- aliens don't understand that there shouldn't be identical street names in one city), one finds the sacrificial alter:

These light up at night and turn an eerie green.

A quarter mile trail leading to the alter, lined with what must be grave markers.

Here's the overhead view (zoom in about four times):

If that's not a crop circle, I don't know what is.

Let's just hope they came in peace.

who uses a machete to cut through red tape

Yesterday I talked with one local government representative on the phone, three additional representatives in their office, three receptionists at the Longmont clinic, two nurses, a pediatrician, a billing specialist at the hospital and a health department worker. That's twelve people. Every single one of them was a woman. Stephen went to have a cavity filled, and the receptionist, dental hygienist and dentist were all women. Longmont is big on the ladies.

Speaking of girl power, Ivy is in the tenth percentile for weight and the ninetieth percentile for height. She's obviously destined to become America's Next Top Model Baby. Girlfriend already knows how to smize*:

*"Smile with your eyes," as coined by supermodel Tyra Banks on the thirteenth cycle of America's Next Top Model. Ever since its introduction, the term became part of the daily lexicon of Tyra and her minions. The art of smizing is epitomized by the legendary Super Smize.

o.r. they?

I tried to upload these at the same time as my lovely portraits (See: Monday) but blogger was being grouchy. So here they are today for your pleasure and further Walter family humiliation:



Further proof that either:

a) Marriage is rough

b) Colorado has not done us any favors aesthetically

or

c) That DMV photographer hates humanity and has unleashed on the city of Longmont a scourge of really terrible driver's license photos, much like Pandora opening her box in legend old.

My money is on c.

I got a brand new pair of roller skates

I feel like I'm letting down the youth of America/my generation by not occupying Wall Street, or any other street, so we had some friends over and held our own OCCUPY LONGMONT. And by occupy Longmont, I mean we occupied our condo in Longmont.

Gregg, Rachael, Stephen, Ollie, Jon, Growlbert and Allyson are sick and tired of the greed.

Our protest included some seriously rebellious activities like playing with puppies and eating ice cream. We really stuck it to the corporations by paying for parking and dining at no less than four resturaunts. That'll show em.

The weekend included what I assume are some actual similarities to the Occupy movement, like a high person to bathroom ratio. Maybe the similarities end there. I don't know much about what is really going on at these protests.