Thursday, March 26, 2009

irish dance

I'm not big on mornings. Making it on time to that first class is an anomoly, to say the least. And so during the normal routine, when I'm about half way across campus, the bell tower tolls. And I worry that my ball gown will transfrom into rags and my glass glass slippers vanish into thin air. So as a meausre of prevention I keep to a very strict dress code- jeans, sweatsirt and canvas shoes. In other words, I always look like Cinderella after midnight.
The telly just informed me that this morning campers were found frozen in their sleeping bags. Yes, more victims of "Spring." After 23 years as a Utahn, I can assert with confidence that it's not Spring until June. Probably June 21. Sure there may be some days scattered here and there when the sun gently caresses your palid skin, as you put on your shades and drive with the windows down. But, honey, listen close- I only tell you this because I care- THEY'RE LEADING YOU ON. Sure it may flirt, it may even text now and again, but the cruel truth is that Spring is just not that into you, or the state you inhabit. It hurts, but you can get through this. Eat some icecream, soak in some bubbles, and remember that there are other seasons in the year. I mean, Summer has that dashing moustache and Fall sure is a snappy dresser.

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

the ancient common sense of things

Today I learned that Flannery O'Connor writes (wrote)the way she does (did) because she was Catholic. When asked why I write the way that I do, I plan to answer "Because I'm Mormon, and we're not all like Stephanie Meyer." Yeah, I just went there. WHAT NOW?! Booh. Yeah. Turns out I write more like Judy Bloom. Every time I create a character, it's a high schooler. Sick. Why? Beats me. Maybe it's because high school was so enigmatic, a mystery I'm still trying to solve? Doubtful. I think it's because it's easy. Because high school is so charged with issues. From one kid to the next we find drugs, eating disorders, promiscuity, loneliness, big-headedness, sincerity, facades, anxiety, and finally stability which no one will ever write about. Ever. My point (yes, I have one)- High School makes a writer's job real easy. Hannah comes home with all sorts of sordid tales, and she's only just begun. So one must ask, do we grow boring as we grow old? What issues are to be addressed in the life of the middle-aged. Dissatisfactin in marriage? Done already. Exasperated sigh. Has anyone made it this far into the blog. Kudos.
Recently, to my horror, and the annoyance to close associations, I've discovered a complete lack of interest in music. So I'm listening to All Songs Considered. Because I think it's NPR's attempt to help the helpless. Give those who only care to listen to Diane Rehm during the morning commute a fighting chance when their hip friends partake in a gabfest about M. Ward. And Bishop Allen. Ward and Bishop? Do they sing of Vampire boyfriends? Oh now it's a Canadian rapper. My reflex is to yell "Oxymoron!" I have articulate terets. "I'm a dreamer, but I aint the only one. We got problems but we lud to have fun." And I lud you too. "It's ok to feel good." But say no to drugs so I don't turn you into a character ok?

Monday, March 2, 2009

Where's the wheel?

-Rachel Rasband is now Rachel Rushforth.  I dig that.
-Because I turned 23, Hannah decided I needed companionship  and bought me a hermit crab.  I've named him Carl.  Carl's not too big on people.  Any attempts at eye contact, and he's back  in his shell. I thought maybe Carl needed a friend.  However, I was  told that a friend, after returning from a vacation, found her once 2 hermit crabs to be 1 hermit crab and a half-eaten hermit crab.   And though crustacean cannibalism would probably sell tickets, I think PETA already has their eye on me (The death of Steve, hermit crab #1, may or may not have been due to negligence).
-Because I  turned 23, Stephen decided I needed to write stuff and bought me a moleskin notebook.  Not more that 2 days later, the moleskin notebook showed up on Stuff White People Like.  I'm white.  I like it.  So sue me.
-Tonight I lost my car key.  And that was delightful in comparison  to the "applefries" I tried at Burger King.  The King's Kingdom does not reach the land  of produce as it turns out, and all healthy menu options should be done away with immediately.
-I might be sick of Mexican food.  Grab your coat, we're going ice-skating on Hell.
-Lists lack style.