Saturday, August 13, 2011

train of thought

It turns out dogs can have bad haircuts too.

Ollie, Ashamed.

Due to our negligence as pet owners and failure to brush our dog three times a day, the groomer at Paws and Claws had to cut off most of Ollie's beard. Schnauzers are not meant to be beardless. He looks wrong. He's gone from Most Adorable Puppy in the World to That Poor Dog. But he doesn't really even look like a dog. He looks more like Kung Fu Panda's dad, who is an animated duck (or maybe goose?).
Although I laugh everytime Ollie looks at me, because he looks just so ridiculous, this fiasco has actually taught me an important lesson.
I'm worried about having an ugly baby. There. I said it. Most babies are super adorable, but we've all seen babies and thought "that's unfortunate." I'm not asking for 48 blog comments telling me how beautiful I am, and how beautiful my spawn will be, because I don't think it has much to do with the parents. I think ugly just happens sometimes. But having a dog who looks like a mutation experiment gone wrong has helped me learn that I am capable of loving unattractive things. I still love my dog. I think I'll probably love my baby regardless. Right? RIGHT?

I googled "how can I get more people to follow my blog?" and the results suggested blogging about a topic I know a great deal about. Then I asked "how can I get more people to follow my blog if my blog isn't really about anything?" and then Google laughed at me. So apparently the only way I'll ever get super rich off this here plot of internets is if I become the world's greatest blogging expert on something. Anything.  My ideas so far are Modern Polka, How to Dress for Mediocrity, and Ramen done Right. What do you suggest?


  1. I read in a magazine that parents have a survival instinct that makes them love their child regardless of appearance, so they don't eat it. Or I just made that up.

    I'm not even pregnant but I worry all the time that I'll have a blond child. I don't think I could love a blond child, blond hair scares me because I don't understand it. As long as you don't have any really unhealthy hangups like that you should be fine.

    And my advice on getting more followers: Scandal = fame.

  2. I did have a dream that my baby was Asian, which would REALLY be a scandal. Maybe my dream me should start blogging?


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