Thursday, July 14, 2011

Transformers

There are so many things wrong with the latest Transformers installment. So, so many. I would write about each of them, but I only have 40 minutes left on my lunch break. Also, I'm lazy. So I'll just cover those issues that bothered me most.
It's time to hire a new stylist. Frances McDormand (whose reasons for being in this movie MUST be financially motivated) has horrible hair. And horrible clothes. Those of you who see me outside of the internet are probably thinking, "Meg, you haven't done your hair in weeks. Also, you only wear jeans and T-shirts." Yes, I know. That's why I carry a tote bag. Frances, however, was carrying a Birkin bag. If carrying a Birkin bag, you had best be wearing Jimmy Choos and the latest and greatest from the world's top designer. Not what Frances was wearing. It's inconsistent.
Also, pretty blond whose name I can't remember, had multiple earrings in one ear. Hey there, 1996. I think the earrings were purchased at Claires. This is a multi-million dollar movie. Go to Saks.
Speaking of pretty blond, she is indeed very pretty. And there were well over fifty shots that looked just like this:



Which is fine. I get it. Hot girl, hot cars, a money making movie makes. So why the talking cars? Ugh. The talking cars. Half of them spoke like a New Jersey stereotype, the other like Yoda/Richard III. And one of them can't speak at all. I don't know why. But back to the girl. She's good at screaming. She's good at staying clean during a Robopocalypse. She's bad at closing her mouth. She also puts up with way too much from Shia LaBuffoon, who spends most of the movie yelling about how awesome he is and how the president gave him a medal, and the rest snapping at his girlfriend who is way out of his league. Her usual reponse is "that's adorable." It's not.
I don't know what happened in the final hour of the movie. It was impossible to pay attention.
I'm tired of writing about this. Just know that it's super rough for many other reasons.

2 comments:

  1. Yes. AND HOW DID THEY GET BUZZ ALDRIN TO AGREE TO THIS.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Or John M. Or Senor Chang.

    ReplyDelete

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