Wednesday, July 11, 2012

high as a kite by then

We flew to Utah with a baby.
I thought I knew what I was doing.  I  googled it, asked facebook, talked to a few mother friends, and gathered a whole bunch of tips for infant air travel. I met  our fellow passengers' looks of fear  and exasperation with a knowing smile. "She won't bother you," I thought. "I know what I'm  doing."
As Ivy sipped her bottle and fell  asleep during take-off, Stephen and I exchanged  hi-5s.We  were rock star  parents. The tips  were going to work. It was going to be the smoothest flight ever.
Three minutes later Ivy was wide awake.
We spent the next four hours trading  off holding a fussy baby and doing everything in our power to keep her entertained. Ivy finally decided she'd had enough and commenced a deathcon 5 meltdown.
It was at that moment, trying to force a binky into a screaming mouth while apologizing to the guy across the aisle, that I realized once again that I  really don't know what I'm doing and maybe the internet doesn't have all the answers.  If google's tips for flying with a baby prove futile,  I doubt my future searches for "How to make my teenage daughter think I'm cool while still keeping her properly disciplined" will yield any sort of real help.


  1. This was me as a baby, and I was a great teenager. There is hope.

  2. Let me clarify. By great, I mean that I didn't have promiscuous sex or do drugs, and I only totaled two cars (one wasn't my fault).

    Also, once on a plane I threw my chewed up gum into a woman's hair and on the return flight it was apparent she had cut her hair because of it. One of my mom's most embarrassing moments.

  3. Ha.. Oh man, that sucks. On a related note, there are times when both my babies sleep well and eat well and I think, I'm awesome, I've got this down. And ten days like yesterday happen. And everything goes to crap. So I feel your pain.

  4. this makes me want to have kids so bad...

  5. @Allyson, that's amazing.
    @Ashely, babies are nothing if not completely unpredictable.
    @Jessica, you're welcome.


Don't be shy.