legumes, eyewear and politics

I earned a college degree. So does that mean that every guess I make is an educated guess? Yes? Wonderful. I plan to start wearing a monocle. I will spend my time walking into rooms where people are guessing things. These guessing people will spot me in my monocle and say, "Mr. Peanut?" and I'll say "No. It's me. Meg the Educated." And then they'll sigh with relief that FINALLY someone knows what they're doing. Then I'll declare, "In my best, most educated guess, I'd say there are three apples in that basket" and even if there are four apples in the basket they'll totally believe me because I'm Meg the Educated. I'll do all of this with a british accent because the brits are just plain smarter. If you don't believe me, watch the current season of America's Next Top Model, Cycle 479, BRITISH INVASION. CAPS LOCK IS FUN. But guys, here's the thing....I only read part of The Grapes of Wrath. I read the Wikipedia page before writing my essay. And I sure as H E double hockey sticks did not read Canterbury Tales. Am I  a fraud? Are my guesses uneducated? Should I return the monocle?
Speaking of education or lack thereof, BYU seems to think that as soon as we graduate we earn tons of money. Enough money that we can spare some and donate to the Alumni fund. I told the latest student volunteer to call that BYU is wrong in thinking so, and to call back in five years. I also told her that I never read The Grapes of Wrath and that the Alumni Association probably doesn't want the likes of me in their midst. That's a lie. I didn't tell her that, but for honesty's sake I should have. Anyway, Stephen, we have five years to become super wealthy. And Republican . Is that what happens with great wealth? Republicanism? As of right now I'm undeclared, like my major most of college. See, it's a circular blog post.
BYU also seems to think that upon graduation I suddenly care about their athletic events and send 67 emails everyday about the next game. But that's a different rant post.