Wednesday, March 14, 2012

Dr. Ivy Answers (verb, not noun)

Amelia in Swizterland asks,
Dr. Ivy, what should I do after graduation? 

Dr. Ivy says,
"You should exit the auditorium. Find your family, if they plan on attending. Then, turn in the gown that you will rent. You're going to rent a gown, right? Rent your gown. Do not buy. It might seem fun and sentimental to have your very own to keep forever, but come June you will serious regret it. Those things weigh like 400 pounds and you'll have to lug it around with you to every new place that you live. And you for sure won't want to pull it out and wear it ever, because let's face it, Kate Moss would look morbidly obese in one of those tents. If you really want a keepsake, order one of those "2012" keychains with a tassle attached. It's much more portable, and then when you finally realize that neither you nor anyone else really cares when you graduated, you won't feel guilty throwing it away because you only spent $7.00 and not $300,000 or however much graduation gowns cost.
After you turn in your rented gown, go to dinner or something. You've earned it.
Oh wait, did you mean like what career you should seek after graduation? Shoot, I don't know. I'm just a baby."

Dr. Ivy

Dr. Ivy, The World's Most Trusted Expert


  1. you're right Dr. Ivy, after 7 years of mediocre performance as a college student I will have earned me some dinner. oh, and a degree. thanks doc!

  2. Dr. Ivy - how do I know when to use "beside" and "besides"? Also, how do you fit it all into a day?


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