Thursday, April 21, 2011

to your face

Imagine you're throwing a party. Your guests seem really great. Very polite and very complimentary.  It's December so they offer the season's greetings freely. "We wish you a Merry Christmas," they say. "And a Happy New Year," they add. They mention something about good tidings, not only to you but your kin as well. And you're thinking, "these are the best party guests ever." But then something goes wrong. It's starts with that one sly guy who you knew you really shouldn't have invited, Apparently he has a craving. "Now bring us some figgy pudding," he insists. The others join in, "Now bring us some figgy pudding," they demand. "Bring it right here," they yell. And then it gets really bad. "We won't go until we get some!" that horrible neighbor with all the cats yells. It's already 10:30, you're exhausted, you have a sink full of dishes, and you're ready for these people to leave. And now you have to make figgy pudding? Where do you even buy figs? And then how do you turn those figs into pudding? Is it like a souffle? Because those never turn out right. You scramble through The Joy of Cooking, find the recipe, replace figs with raisins (they'll have to get over it). Thirty minutes later begrudgingly dish thirty bowls of figgy pudding, watch your "friends" devour your makeshift treat, then you push them out of your now destroyed home. "We wish you a Merry Christmas!" they say, "AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR!" You scream as the door slams shut.


  1. you've officially stamped your name all over that song. way to leave your mark, meg. ;)


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