Monday, November 14, 2011

stains caked deep in the knees

"Kids will believe anything you tell them," my hair stylist told me this morning.
Oh, the power!
I feel like I should start drafting a version of my personal history in which I save a small nation from an evil overlord, produce a multi-platinum hip-hop album and am crowned prom queen. But then that's kind of braggy and I don't want her to feel like she has impossibly large shoes to fill. So maybe I should make up something more obscure. Like maybe Stephen and I are secret government agents? And she can't tell anyone for obvious security reasons. NO- wait- you know what would be even better and less soul-damning- I could just imply that we're spies. When I know Ivy is eavesdropping on my phone conversations, I'll say things like "The President needs this taken care of today." I'll send myself mysteriously shaped packages and make the return address THE PENTAGON. Every once in a while we'll call a sitter, dress in all black, and say "honey, we don't know when we'll be back, but if the man with the mustache shows up, hit the red button". And then we'll just go to the movies. If she ever asks if we're undercover, we'll deny it, and it won't be a lie. Win.


  1. Have you been watching Spy Kids lately?

  2. You have no idea what I do all day while you're gone.

  3. I love this. This little girl is going to be so funny. She just has to, with a mom like you.


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