Monday, November 28, 2011

just a psychotic girl

My family stopped playing Monopoly with me a long time ago and Stephen stopped playing Monopoly with me just a few months into our marriage. Not because I'm so good, but because I'm so mean. Something about the color-coded board, the top hat and thimble, and the piles of money turns me into a real synonym for a female dog. Few things in life bring me greater joy than watching some poor sap land on my hoteled Boardwalk. I love watching them hand over every last bill to add to my collection of orange 500's, and I love watching them mortgage their sad little Oriental Avenue and Reading Railroad. I have a lot in common with this guy:

Potter for President.

On the other hand, nothing makes me angrier than being the poor sap who lands on someone else's hoteled Boardwalk. I cry injustice every time. I wail over every last bill I'm forced to hand over, and declare how unfair the mortgaging system is while I flip the cards for Oriental Avenue and Reading Railroad. I'm not a sore loser. I'm a wounded, bleeding, take me to the hospital I'm dying from this massive flesh-wound loser.

Win or lose, I'm pretty unbearable, and the number of willing opponents dwindles with every game. That's why it's become necessary to have children.

4 comments:

  1. When I play Muchkin, my sole purpose is to make the game difficult for others. I don't even care about winning.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Phil thinks you need to give Nick some credit for winning two out of three games. Great post! You are an incredible writer.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I don't know what Muchkin is, but I want to play it and DESTROY everyone.
    Nick did win two games. It's really hard to admit that.

    ReplyDelete
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