Tuesday, October 29, 2013

This blog post is from a confused customer service representative

Good news, friends.  I am now the proud owner of tobetomars.com. So long, .blogspot! But don't worry, tobetomars.blogspot.com still works. I just think maybe I can trick people into thinking this is a legitimate operation if I have a bought and paid for World Wide Web address. 


My job. It has three parts. It's one part writing and editing, the skill set I was originally hired for; one part forum moderating, which no one has the proper skill set for; and customer service, which is the furthest thing imaginable from what I'm good at doing. If my skills are the sun, customer service is Pluto in a solar system on the opposite side of the universe. I don't enjoy talking on the phone. I don't enjoy people. I don't enjoy customers or service. I am the anti-Flo.

Though I have been doing this job for a while and I am getting better. I've developed a warm and pleasant talking to strangers on the phone voice. I've learned that it's always better to be apologetic. I've started signingd every email with "Thank You!". But sometimes I mess up. Sometimes I'm in a hurry and I answer emails with one or two sentences and forget to include smiley faces and exclamation points. So sometimes I get replies like this:

Yes I live in Australia Meg sorry for asking a question about the item an shipping if I new you respond angry an pissed off like that I would of not bothered asking or buying the product you really no how to treat a first time customer NOT. Just would liked to have a idea on when or how long take to receive the product but I won't bother asking you again.thanks for the rude reply NOT. This reply is from a unhappy first time customer.

Honestly, I don't remember what I wrote that set the customer off like this. I guess I asked if he lived in  Australia? And boy am I glad I did! Had I not, I probably would have missed out on some of the greatest prose of our time. When's the last time you read or heard such wonderful usage of NOT? Let alone twice in one email! When's the last time you encountered so many misspellings that also serve as double entendres? And when's the last time a final sentence did such a fantastic job summarizing all previous sentences? 

Bravo, unhappy first time customer. I mean, sorry for upsetting you, but mostly, Bra freaking vo. 


  1. Hooray for you being a dot com-er! (Spell check is really hating me right now for that). I look forward to many more posts!


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