Dr. Ivy Answers

Margo in Wisconsin asks,

Dr. Ivy, I know you're an inspiration to all you come in contact with, but I was wondering if you have any role models of your own?

Dr. Ivy says,

"What a great question, Margo. As a matter of fact, I have two idols of my own. I call them Nana and Mimi, or to save time, The Grandmas. Shout out to all the G-mas in the house! You ladies are the real heroes.

Do you know what I get when I go shopping with Mom?  Diapers, canned goods and scolding.

Do you know what I get when I go shopping with Mimi? Toys. And more toys.

Do you know who doesn't send me packages because apparently it's "silly" to send a parcel to someone you share a home with? Mom. 

Do you know who sends me brightly wrapped boxes full of candy and Elmo DVDs? Nana.

The Grandmas don't insist on vacuuming once a day even though the vacuum is the most terrifying, baby-eating, life-destroying device in existence. Guess who does: Yeah. You got it. 

The Grandmas don't tell me to "get a grip". Mom does. Often.

Instead of ignoring my every demand because they need to "finish their meal" or "make a phone call", (COUGH mom COUGH) The Grandmas rush to my side at every grunt and whine to read a story seventeen times or tie then untie my shoe for forty minutes. My wish? It's their command.

Mimi doesn't make me take a nap or wash my hair. Mom's so weird about that. Like I need sleep or clean hair. Puh-lease.

Nana doesn't withhold chocolate or crayons. Mom, on the other hand, seems to love her couch and walls more than she loves me. 

In conclusion, I hope to someday be the kind of benevolent, loving woman that both my Nana and Mimi are. I wish my vacuuming,  nap-enforcing, whine-enforcing mother would take a page from their book.

Love,

Dr. Ivy"

Dr. Ivy, The World's Greatest Expert