Thursday, December 6, 2012

Naughty and Nice

By yesterday afternoon I had all but completely lost faith in humanity. During the preceding 72 hours someone who hates happiness sent me a virus  disguised as a customer complaint, a disgruntled and very confused woman accused me of sending her a virus, a scary old man joked about my menstrual cycle and our *favorite next door neighbor cornered and yelled at me guessed it...knocking on our shared wall. 
So when I saw roughly twenty elementary school children  lined up and yelling along the playground fence as I was about to run past, I assumed I was being heckled. I'm the first to admit that I have the gait of an injured hippo (which is probably why as a child I was picked last for every recess game, that or my inability to catch or throw) and given my previous interactions with those monsters we call humans this week, it would make total sense that the children were shouting hurtful remarks. Out of morbid curiosity or maybe self-hatred, I removed my headphones to better hear their insults.
"Hey!", they yelled.
"Can  you get our ball for us?" 
I apprehensively crept closer,  wondering if they might throw rocks or paint at me if I got near enough. I was pleasantly surprised to find a football hidden in the weeds a foot or two away from the fence.
"Throw it over!" they encouraged. 
Terrible flash backs of kick and dodgeball raced through my head. I might not be able to throw that far. They were going to laugh at me. They were going to send me a computer virus or joke  about my womanhood or  file a complaint with our Home Owners' Association.
"Don't choke don't choke don't choke" I pleaded with myself as I wound my arm and released the ball.   
I sighed with relief as it barely cleared the fence. 
Then, the children cheered. I kid you not, the children CHEERED. 
And, you're not going to believe it, but the whole gaggle of youngins said Thank You. They used their manners and showed appreciation. And just like that there was hope once more. 
Adults are terrible but the children are our future. Don't believe me? Look at this:

I apologize if you've already seen this photo on Facebook  or Twitter or Instagram or the billboard I rented on the freeway. What can I say? I love Christmas and  I love my child.

*Least favorite. She's terrible.

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