you need to change your name

I heard that Mitt Romney was going to be at Hires Big H, which made me crave a Big H. So while in Salt Lake we parked in the car hop lot and turned out lights on. While waiting for the waitress I said to Stephen "Mitt will be here tomorrow" so that he would be impressed with my political knowledge. And he was impressed. Then when the waitress appeared Stephen said, "Hey, we heard Mitt will be here tomorrow," because Stephen is friendly and enjoys making conversation with strangers, unlike myself, since I usually mutter "Thanks for the onion rings" and avoid further eye contact. "What? I haven't heard anything about that," the waitress said. And I felt like such an idiot. Serves me right for trying to impress my husband with the political knowledge I've never had. Slowly I chewed the onion rings, feeling fully defeated and embarrassed. The waitress was probably telling the entire Hires staff about the blond in the Honda Civic making up lies about presidential candidates. Then she returned to the car and said, "You're right. He'll be here tomorrow at 3:15." CHA-CHING. I'm the most political savvy person the world has ever known. Or maybe just the world's biggest Hires fan.