mr. k

Over the weekend Ollie caught a bird that was already dead, and ran away from a  stuffed bear. He also hid from the vacuum. We're very proud.

 I finished Firday Night Lights. Sob.  So now I'm watching Say Yes to the Dress. It's taken a full year since our wedding for me to even begin thinking about anything wedding related again. I thought that finding the perfect dress  would be like a dream. But at times it felt like a night terror. When I was four years old I had a doll. It was a girl's head with the body of a cupcake, and it smelled like plastic strawberries. At one point, in one of many dress stores, I looked it the mirror and saw that doll's twin.
Luckily, with lots of help, I found my perfect dress. But it's not a hunt I'd want to go on again. But I don't mind watching the poor souls on SYTTD cry, and yell, and alter in their search.

buddy

Today I have once again proved to myself that I will someday make a really horrible mother. For breakfast I had two diet cokes and a bag of peanut M&Ms. I haven't stepped foot in a grocery store in over two weeks.

You know how a lot of homes have cross-stitched niceties framed and hung on the walls? Stuff like "Home is where the heart is." Well wouldn't it be awesome if someone cross-stitched sayings such as "I know you are but what am I?" Or "Your momma's so fat...". They would be cross-stitched with pink embroidary floss with a little flower border. Awesome, right?

Last night I bought some popcorn at the movie theater and it cost $5.74. The cashier gave me a quarter. Obviously, that's a penny discrepancy. So here's what I'm thinking. This young man is pocketing one penny for every transaction (a la Office Space). He's probably made a solid two dollars so far.

Good news:

And it only took 3 years! Sad.

I dropped the black album

Dear cyclist,
Your bike is not a car. You may think you're fast. You probably are. But not 60 MPH fast. Therefore, I have to pass you in my car while you ride outragesouly close to my lane. You must want to die. That's fine, whatever, none of my business. But don't you think it's a bit cowardly? Forcing some poor driver to knock you off your bike and be forever responsible for your death? I can't handle that right now. I don't do well with guilt. Killing you would kill me.  So I guess this is a selfish request, but take the bike path.
Sincerely,
I switch lanes just to avoid being anywhere near you.

There You Go

As it turns out, two notches of gas will not get a car from Provo to American Fork. Two notches barely gets a car from Provo to Orem. FREEWAY FAIL. I still live in the same city where I attended high school. Sometimes certain community events require my presence in the school. It's always strange to go back. It's as though all the memories of those four years, sit and wait, condensing and swirling and never becoming less vivid, until I enter the school again and am hit with glimpses of times gone by. Pajama Pants Tuesday, the journalism lab, my locker that was in the scary Drama hall, the track, and so many great people. Speaking of high school, I can't stop watching Friday Night Lights. And I can't get enough of this song. Chills.

in the deviltown

We watched Pride and Prejudice over the weekend. Stephen had a great insight. He siad it was the best love story ever written because two realists fall in love.
Totally.

tomorrow's game

I just resigned from my correspondent position with the Daily Herald. It turns out I don't enjoy writing about city council meetings. At all. And while I sort of feel like a quitter, overall I feel very relieved. And kind of proud that I was able to realize how truly bad I am at something. Because I am really really bad at writing about city council meetings.  Now I know that I not only don't have a future in journalism, but I also don't want a future in journalsim. One more future career path I don't really want to take. Now I just need to find one that I do. A career path more lucrative than arranging flowers, baking cookies and watching TV. What do I need to do to get paid for taking care of baby monkeys? Please don't say vet school. 

It took a few years for me to realize that April Fools was a yearly thing, not a monthly occasion. Obviously, I understood that April Fools was for April, but I thought there was a March Fools and a September Fools, and so on. And I thought that the day of the  month didn't matter. Essentially I believed that every day was its own April Fools, and I acted accordingly, pulling pranks pretty much anytime I felt like it. But none of them were very successful. The saran wrap over the toilet was discovered, the toothpaste in the oreos was smelled, and no one believed my liess I didn't really get good at pranks until my twenties. It was only then that I truly mastered the art of deception. I faked an engagement. On Facebook. Christian, the fake fiance and I thought we'd get a few laughs. What we got was three hundred wall posts. And calls from bishops. And people congratulating us on campus.And family asking questions. And just a whole lot of trouble. I haven't really made many joking attempts since then, what the repurcussions being so severe. But maybe it's time to start May Fools again.