just fakin and frontin

Remember the duel between Merlin and Mad Madame Mim in The Sword and the Stone? Merlin ultimately wins by transforming himself into a virus and infecting Mim. Mim is then green and covered in purple spots, lying in bed with a thermometer in her mouth. Yesterday I woke up looking just like that. And I couldn't remember any recent duels with Wizards so I panicked. And googling "rash and flu symptoms" led me to believe I was soon to die from spinal menangitis or lyme disease. An emotional breakdown and few hours later, a nurse stuck a large needle in my bum to get rid of the strep virus that was making me grouchy and splotchy, neither of which is very becoming. I don't mind shots as long as I don't have to think about what's going on. But this nurse wasn't about to let this happen. During the seemingly 2 minutes it took to inject the antidote she kept making comments like "Yeah, this is a rough one. The consistency of Elmer's glue. You're lucky we warmed it up for you." Delightful.

Cheerleader

Why having the flu is maybe a good thing:

*I'm overcoming my fear of death. On the average, healthy day, I'm rarely fond of the idea of dying. But lately at that very first moment of awareness in the morning when the effects of nyquil have worn off, I've thought "I've had a good run. Maybe it's time to go."

*The extreme temperature swings are almost like a sauna. And it's such a delightful surprise, profusely sweating in the dead of winter. Man, I am so lucky.

*Hallucinogenic dreams without hallucinogenics.

*My Tylenol consumption is keeping the medical economy on solid ground.

*Class? Psh. It's not like I'm trying to graduate or anything.

*I'm taking advantage of culturally enriching experiences that I would otherwise be too busy for. Like; The E True Hollywood Story- Angelina Jolie, What Not to Wear, and Mars Attacks.

*The way in which I speak is no longer boring and coherent, but instead ambiguous, and if I may so so myself, poetic. "Sleep, I have more fondue."

dig this grave, darling

I woke up at the crack of dawn (9:00) because I have to submit a bio. My own bio. Written in 3rd person. Uh huh. I'm having a hard time coming up with much. "Meg Morley enjoys a stiff diet coke on the rocks." "Meg Morley almost beat the first Mario world last week." "Meg Morley breaks into a sweat when asked about her future plans." "Meg Morley backwards is Gem Yelrom, which she wishes was acceptable to demand of other people to call her, because come on. Gem Yelrom." "Meg Morley, when given the choice between accomplishing a real task or writing a blog, will, without exception, write a blog." "Meg Morley spent a significant amount of time watching this over her winter break.""Meg Morley rarely makes it through an entire movie without having to use the restroom at least once, and wonders if it's more mental than physiological, but problematic regardless. She would stop drinking so much water but fears dehydration, a condition widely underestimated in today's medical community, and if ignored long enough inevitably leads to death." I think I like that last one.

He asked for 13 and they gave him 31

Febreze is the official air freshener of the NFL, which I guess works because I can't think of anything that smells better than professional football.

Through the ragweed and barbedwire

It's cold here. Yesterday, feeling the effects of a week worth of Christmasy treats, I tied my running shoes, pumped up the jams (yeah, I just wrote that- deal with it), and stepped out the front door. Then stepped back inside. 12 degrees. Yeah right. So, much to sweet Mother's dismay, I decided to run up and down the stairs. Our dog Gidget, who is normally hunting down socks to destroy or a family member to terrorize, took interest in my cardiovascular endeavor. Apparently she decided it looked like a good time, and she started to follow. Up, down, up, down. Then she minimized her effort. She ran a few steps down, a few steps up, meeting me in the middle. And then she stopped trying altogether, but still watched. For thirty minutes. The dog who never sits still without a sedative, sat and spectated with a look of utter puzzlement, her head cocked to one side. Mom walked by and muttered, "Stupid Human."

Who decided raisins in any culinary creation was a good idea?

Ima back

Mario. Nothing brings the family together like "Why did you go that way?" and "Shoot him with ice!" and "Stop bouncing on my head!".

Merry

Love,
Meg