Monday, November 5, 2012

She's done alright for a girl

The lady who sat across the church foyer and watched Ivy play asked, "Is she your first?" I told her yes, and she said to Ivy, "Your mom has so much to learn". I just smiled, not knowing what response she was expecting, but knowing full well the response I wanted to give. I wanted to tell her that I'm very aware that I have a long way to go. That I know I'm not doing everything perfectly. That I really should know what BPA is, what to do when my baby has a cold, and how to make and store homemade baby food. That I worry all day every day about feeding her enough, playing with her enough, teaching her enough, and showing her that I love her enough. That I get very overwhelmed seeing what other moms accomplish, and that I know I shouldn't compare myself to them but I do anyway. That I know I shouldn't turn on Sesame Street just to get her to stay still but I do it anyway. That I should be able to get her to sit through Sunday School but I can't. That I should be comfortable nursing in public but I'm not. That yes, I do have so much to learn, but the last thing I need is a stranger reminding me that I'm not the ideal mother. 
I'm sure she didn't mean to hurt my feelings. She just wanted an excuse to talk about her five children, thirty three grandchildren and eight great grand children. She wanted to share her wisdom, and I appreciate that. But what I appreciate more are the moms who remember what it's like the first time around. Who listen and nod, who hold my baby and let me know I'm doing alright, despite all the things I'm doing wrong. 
I hope when I'm older I never tell a scared new parent how far they have to go. I hope I tell them how far they've come.

6 comments:

  1. your kid is super cute. id say you done real good :)

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  2. You're doing great. I've said it before, I'll say it again, I'll be coming to you as a coach when my kids come around.

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  3. Hooray for helpful strangers! And the fact that you DO worry about all those things shows that you are a great mother.

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  4. Thanks, ladies. I didn't mean to fish for validation, but I'd be lying if i said I didn't appreciate it.

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  5. That woman has a long way to go toward not being a jerk and I have a long way to go toward making good comebacks. You, on the other hand, are an awesome mom.

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  6. That's the best comeback I've heard in a while. And thanks.

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Don't be shy.