Tuesday, October 11, 2011

sunshine superman

Why we can never have a pet duck:

It's dead.

Before we brought Ollie home from the breeder's, we brought him a toy duck that had been hanging out in our apartment so Ollie would grow accustomed to our smell. It has long since been his favorite toy. We can ask, "Where's your duck?" and he'll immediately find it and bring it to us. Ollie has destroyed many many toys. He's not satisfied until the plastic is shredded into 576 pieces all over the floor and all the insides are on the outside. But he always left the duck alone, showing it respect he hadn't shown any of his other belongings. Until yesterday. Yesterday he viciously ripped apart the feet, the wings, the head, and pulled the squeaker (the heart) out and ran around proudly squeaking what was once the life of his beloved friend. Let's all pray Ollie knows the difference between plush toys and infants.

Why my husband is thin:

Stephen's breakfast, left in the toaster.

Who just forgets to eat?! I remember watching Oprah and some healthcare professional asked a group of the morbidly obese "Are you eating to live, or living to eat?" I immediately answered, outloud, at the television "Living to eat!" Apparently that's not great. Whatever. Food is awesome. I read recipes for fun. While eating one meal, I'm planning my next meal. The highlight of any vacation, in my opinion, is the eating out. But Stephen? Stephen is barely eating to live. Food just isn't his thing. What a bleak world that must be.


  1. 1. Jon frequently picks me up from work and says, "I forgot to eat lunch," or "All I ate today was a cookie and an apple."
    2. We're working on teaching Growlbert that his cup of water is not meant to be dumped out and chewed on. That's what the toys we bought are for.

  2. Poor duck. At least he lived a long and productive life.

  3. law school has not helped my eating forgetfulness. take yesterday, and the day before and the day before and the day before and the day before for example. I haven't had dinner in like 3 weeks.

  4. Your post was so funny to me that I told it to my friend. I have found this happening a lot lately.

  5. Allyson, dogs seem crazy about water, until you try and bathe them. Rachel, yes, RIP, duck, you served us well. Brittney, EAT. Amelia, you were here for some of his last moments. Emily, you rock.


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