Thursday, December 17, 2009

These streets will inspire you

"Excuse me, are you the candy man?" he asked the adolescent in a red uniform standing next to me. A little creepy right? Wrong! He spoke in a Scottish accent. So he could have said "I want to pull out all your hair and feed you to my pet pterodactyl" and I would have nodded and smiled at this delightful elderly Scottish man. I contemplated following him around the rest of the store. Stealthily, mind you, lurking a few aisles behind, just close enough to hear "Lad" and "mutton" and you know....cute Scottishy phrases. And that's when I realized-- maybe it's time to move to a location where anyone who's even remotely different isn't such a rarity that I resort to grocery harrassment.


  1. i remember being thrilled by the smell of cigarette smoke. it felt like such a novelty in provo.

  2. Or swearing? I'm not the only one who got a thrill from that, right?

  3. a) that song, in your title, was the #1 on my birthday, so cary put it on my birthday mix. do you know about that tradition? (tradition of two years?) Because last year he made me a mix with all the songs that were #1 on my birthday from the day I was born. he's adorable
    b) Scottish movies I have watched in the last two days: P.S. I love you and Made of Honor.
    c) if he was the local scottish man? he yelled at me in the Cannon. he made me cry. I thought he was charming too, until he said very mean things in his scottish accent and it made everything so much worse.
    d) in your move? consider washington dc.
    d) keep in mind that moving to more diverse places will only isolate you more and you will trust people less.


    There's nothing you can do.


Don't be shy.