Friday, April 10, 2009

Argilla Road Millionares

If we're sitting in a board meeting, in a board room, you and I, (that tie looks great on you), I'll pull out a chart and set it on a stand. There will be a line, red probably, starting from  the bottom left and  increasing dramatically toward the right top corner. A few dips here and there, but an overall exponential reading. Horizontally, along the bottom will read "time until semester's end," starting at 4 months and ending at 1 day. Along the left (vertically) will read "zit count"', "cadburry eggs consumed", and "tears shed." You and everyone else sitting at the monstrous board room table, will nod, suddenly understanding why Stephen has  had to ask at least once a day "Are you ok?" When I snap "Yes I'm fine!" while grabbing a tissue and shoving 4 eggs into my mouth, he knows to do one of two things; 1. Find a youtube clip of someone else falling down or crashing a bike or being inappropriate,  2. Feed me french fries. Both methods are highly effective, and undoubtedly the reason we've lasted as long as we have. I feel like it was the same routine when I was three, but instead I was pacified with Sesame Street and microwaved hotdogs with cheese. Carey (Mother Dear) would poke a fork into the tube of pig flesh to prevent exploding. A shame, because an exploding hot dog would  be absolutely radical. Like coke in the freezer but hotter and more dead animally. 


  1. I'm going to need to get on the list of people you share youtube clips with...

  2. hot dogs and cheese should never meet, especially in a microwave.


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