Thursday, January 23, 2014

Dear Beyonce

Hey Bey,
How are things?
Things are good here. We're out of toilet paper so I'll have to go to Target later, but other than that, no complaints.

So. Girl. Listen.
I heard about your album debut. Congratulations! That must have taken a ton of work. And to not tell anyone about it? Super impressive.

The thing is though, I kind of feel like I've been ripped off with one song in particular.

Exhibit A:

A duet. With your daughter. Your daughter named Ivy.

This is clearly a blatant copy of the single I released last fall:

It got 40 hearts on Instagram, so there's no way you didn't hear about it.

I'm sure there's some way we can settle this without a lawsuit. Maybe you can send me royalties?
I'll be in touch.


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