Thursday, August 16, 2012

She may have mentioned a bear as well

A woman called me. It was a business call but not a business conversation.
"My cougar ate a golf ball," she said. I assumed I heard her wrong.
"She was the best cougar in the world, never hurt anyone." Nope. It wasn't a hearing issue. This woman owned a cougar. A golf-ball eating cougar.
"There was nothing they could do," She cried. I sympathized. Losing an animal is never easy.  And although I don't understand the appeal of owning a pet that could turn on you and attack at any time, she seemed pretty torn up about her loss.
"I'm sorry," I said as I waited for her to gain her composure. It took a while. Then there was a clanging in the background.
"Sorry, that's my bobcat," she explained. "He's always knocking stuff over."
I wasn't sure how to respond to the second wild, carnivorous animal announcement, so I tried to remind her of the business she had called to discuss. I failed.
"My husband won't do anything about those neighbor kids. They always throw stuff in our yard and it upsets our wolf." I was scared to ask what she wanted her husband to do about the neighbor kids or why she owns a wolf, so I changed the subject and asked where she was from. She then asked where I was from and when I told her Utah, she said,
"Tell those people in Idaho to stop hurting the wolves."
The twenty minute conversation continued to spiral out of control until she finally made a purchase. She then tried to explain the importance of having a gun in the home. I told her I had to take another call. It was a lie.

Hey Idaho, stop hurting the wolves.


  1. My bad. I'll stop my wolf-hurting ways.

  2. This comment has been removed by the author.

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