Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Let's talk about spaceships.

Ladies and Gentlemen,
meet Roy-

Hertz has a lot full of cars. Rental cars that allow the renter, for about a week to say "yeah, I'm this cool." A facade, perhaps, but what's a vacation if not an escape from reality? So anxiously we walked through the lot, searching our assigned vehicle number. The sleak and shiny automobiles seemed to beckon with a wink, promising a week of class and style. And then we found 33B. The Mercury Grand Marquis. Gold. We were to be the envy of every Ethel, Ruth and Mildred.
In the end he served us well. Partly because Lola, our GPS system, made for foolproof navigation. Yes, we named the car and the GPS. Which reminds me of something I heard on a talkshow. I trust everything I hear on talkshows. So the following was upsetting: "If you personify objects or animals, it means you're a lonely person." Shoot. I personify paint chips. And I really personify my dog. And now I'm going to transition not very smoothly into why I might not make a great mom. In fact I threw the dog thing in there only to sort of tie the two parts together. Which is maybe why I won't be a professional writer. And I'm lonely. I just had 3 depressing realizations all at once. Hold on. I'm going to go vent to my fence post. K I'm back. What was I saying? Oh yeah. Why the world should fear for my offspring. It really all comes down to my relationship with our family dog. We're supposed to be disciplining her because she's a bit on the unruly side. But it's just so funny when she's naughty. I'm usually giggling when I tell her no, I always give her food from my plate, and I let her chew my hair cause who does that? So someday I might have one of those children who is spoiled and loud and punches the other kids in the face and all I'll do is giggle and give him/her treats.
If you personify nonexistent people does that make you lonely and dellusional? Is that how you spell dellusional?


  1. About your dog, I just hope massive head wound Harry shows up at your house one day.

  2. Excuse me, I meant I hope that he doesn't show up at your house.


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