the four horsemen

Do you ever dream that you're sitting down to a delicious dinner with friends, then you wake up, and then you feel sad that you never got to eat the meal and then embarrassed that you abandoned all your friends without any explanation, then you realize that because you woke up that gathering no longer exists and then you just feel really guilty? No? Just me? Must be the sleep aid I'm taking.

I watched the season premiere of Bachelor Pad, because someone has to, right? I was just really curious to see what it's all about. It did not disappoint. I mean, it was disappointing in the sense that it reflects the current state of our society and consumerism, etc., but shoot if it wasn't entertaining. The producers somehow wrangled eighteen of the stupidest contestants in Bachelor/Bachelorette history to compete in a contest no one understands. You think I'm judging too harshly? Let me back it up. The following conversation actually aired:

Gia: You don't build the emeny, er, enemy a bomb shelter if you have the chance to blow them up.
Jake: Yeah, but how did the Trojans beat the Greeks?
Gia: They left an elephant on their door.

You don't need to know the context of the conversation. It doesn't help clarify, nor does it correct the numerous factual errors.

a bit too cool

Dear Ikea,

When I ordered a couch a week ago and you told me it wouldn't arrive until August 29, I was upset. I said some things. Things that I now regret. Because when you called yesterday, and asked if you could deliver our furniture today, I remembered why I fell in love with you in the first place. I can never stay mad at you.



Dear Stephen,

Thank you for playing with legos as a child and learning how to assemble things (couches) really well.

monster

There was an unfortunate incident. My super intelligent mobile device and my water bottle were sharing space in my handbag. But I guess the water wasn't down with cohabitation. Or maybe my phone smelled and needed a bath. Regardless, the water attacked the phone, and the phone, after a 3 day fight, has finally given up the ghost. So now I'm using Stephen's old Samsung switch blade phone circa 2007. It's not the worst thing that's ever happened to me. It's probably good to not be connected to EVERYTHING ALWAYS. Plus, I'm back to the hilarious days of T9 wherein takes three times as long to text because "don't" is always "foot" "no" is "on", and "Morley" is "fakdj;kj", or whatever. The real downside is that I lost about a million pictures of Ollie, and a large majority of my contacts. Stephen had a few of them already (mutual friends, obvs), but if you and Stephen are not friends, 1. you should be, and 2. I need your number. But don't post it in the comments, because I don't want those creepy Anonymous commenters who post about male enhancement to track you down. Email me your digits. Moremeg@gmail.com. Unless you've been looking for a way to fall out of contact with me. Problem solved for you.

what's my age again?

23 years ago, on August 8, 1988 (that's 8-8-88) at 8:38 in the morning, my baby brother entered the world.  I used to think that as his older sister, I was his natural boss. That he should listen to me in all matters because I was bigger, older, and wiser. But since then I've had to relinquish my reign as Older Sister Ultimate Ruler because he is now taller, funnier and probably wiser than I. I'm happy to do so, cause I think he can handle the world pretty well on his own.

Happy Birthday, NickMo.

you know how it is

Our neighborhood is puppy heaven. We've been here nearly a week. So far I've seen two children, and about ninety-seven dogs. There is one sign that says "Children at Play" and at least fifteen that say "Dogs must be kept on a leash, and waste must be put in the trash." Shouldn't parents be required to pick up their childrens' poop? Why isn't there a sign specifying that? Anyway, it's refreshing having so many dogs around. We are no longer Those People Who Bought a Dog before Children, like we were in Utah. We're just like everyone else who treats their dog as though it were their child. People like me, who take great pride when someone says "what a cute dog" as if I am in any way responsible for his genetics. People like me who talk to their dog as though it has a college professor's understanding of the English language. People like me who have a desktop full of puppy pictures and blog about their dog at least once a month.

Ollie enjoying a lazy afternoon, catching up on The Bachelorette

Will things change when Baby arrives? Probably. Is Ollie in for a rude awakening? I would assume. But it's something all first children go through. And we'll try our best to avoid a Lady and the Tramp type situation. Until January, Ollie is our only child and first love.

Stephen and Ollie relaxing in our only living room furniture until or couch arrives on AUGUST ?! Thanks a lot, Ikea.

walk away

Pregnancy has in large part turned me into a toddler. I sleep a lot. I have to eat a lot of snacks. Usually those snacks are cheese, hot dogs, and ramen noodles. Not together, but maybe I should give that a try...I complain a lot. If I don't get a nap, I'm downright fussy. How am I supposed to raise a child, if I myself have beome a child?

after all, it was you and me

I know, I know, I know. Nobody likes this header. But in order for me to become a LEGIT Blogher blogger, my header needs to be a certain size. And my technological deficiencies just won't allow for a the proper resizing of the old picture. Sorry. Speaking of having the technological capabilities of a monkey, does anyone know how to upload a video from an ipad to blogger? Anyone? Is there anyone out there? Is anyone one word?

Anyway. We made it to Boulder in one piece and a million boxes. I would detail the journey here, but no one likes moving, let alone reading about moving. I will say that our new apartment is very choice. It includes a dishwasher, a bath I'm not afraid to bathe in, a closet bigger than our previous kitchen, and a FIREPLACE. It does not include twenty stray cats, an odor that is impossible to get rid of, or mysterious stains from previous tenants.

Did I cry when my family drove away this morning? Sure. Am I worried that I won't make any Coloradan friends? You betcha. Am I starting to think that working from home will make me a hermit? Yes. Yes I am. But our apartment has a fireplace that I plan to use in August, so all is right in the world.