Thursday, August 7, 2014

Meg and the just not really great morning

My pregnancy app sent me a 14 week update that read, "Your queasiness may have completely abated by now," and seconds later I had to make a mad dash to the bathroom to abate my queasiness. Real funny, fetus.

I forgot to spray the frying pan and burned my breakfast eggs. I found a spider living in my shoe. I tried to halve a pizza dough recipe, messed up twice, and finally just threw some extra flour in one of the failure bowls and am praying that the dough rises. It should be mentioned that the pizza dough recipe is titled "Lazy Pizza Dough," as in, "Only A Complete Imbecile Could Screw This Up."

Our family grew by one this week with the addition of our new fish. Ivy named her "Windick" and we've opted to call her Wendy for short.

The good news is, Wendy is still alive. The bad news is I nearly killed her by pouring way too many food pellets in her bowl (decorative vase) and making the water cloudy and gross. So it became imperative to clean her bowl (decorative vase) immediately. However, because the decorative vase is a decorative vase and not a bowl, a standard fish net will not fit through the mouth, making Wendy impossible to move, making the vase impossible to clean, and making me panic and brainstorm stories about sleeping fish to tell Ivy. Eventually the panic subsided and I put my college-educated brain to work, manipulated the wire net to work like a ladle, and successfully moved Wendy from water receptacle A to water receptacle B. NASA, I am totally available for hire. I cleaned the bowl and the rocks and felt mighty fine about the minuscule task it took nearly two hours to accomplish. Then I netted Wendy again and placed her back in water receptacle A. But she would not swim out of the net because fish are idiots. Wendy seemed totally content to call the net her new home. Come on, Wendy, have a little respect for yourself. You deserve pretty white rocks and at least a few inches of swimming room. I had to hold the net upside down and force Wendy to free-fall into the water and I'm pretty sure she hates me now. But at least she's not still in the net or the cloudy water? 

Okay. So. Then. I decided to mop our entry way because it had been...a while. I was squirting the last bit of Swiffer juice on the last tile when Ivy ran onto the floor, slipped and fell.  Like any horrific event, as a witness it's hard to remember exactly what happened. Did she hit her head? Or did she fall on her side? I honestly don't know. Of course I googled "Toddler Concussion" and have been watching for symptoms. She's currently frog hopping in the living room, so I guess she's fine?

It's not a bad day. People with ebola are having a bad day. We're just having a kind of rough day. Things are either going to turn around or get worse. Just to be safe I don't think we'll go anywhere because operating heavy machinery aka driving a car just doesn't seem like a good idea. 

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