I wonder what your boyfriend thinks about your braces

How many cough drops does it take to overdose?
" almonds "
" diet coke cans "
" smart waters "

Just like a Prayer

Yeah, I cried. I don't know. I mean, when the first Toy Story premiered I was still playing with toys. And now I'm 24. Sometimes I'm not sure how that happened.
When my third grade teacher Mrs. Cunningham read the final pages of the Winnie the Pooh series aloud to the class, she cried. I get that now.

manager count the churros

Everytime this guy showed up on the court, I just couldn't handle it. So funny.
Also, we live in what's essentially a newly married apartment complex. And this morning there was an awkward marriage book left stranded on the stairs. And I wonder if it will ever be claimed or if every one will pretend it isn't theirs and look away when they walk by until eventually the cats get to it, which, trust me, the cats will.

planetary, intergalactic

Did I tell you we went to Key West on our honeymoon? We went to Key west. And it was really great. The only picture we took was of a cat at the Hemingway House, so sorry.
Anyway. That was like 6 weeks ago. And there was this bum on the beach, well there were lots of bums on the beach, not on bodies but like actual people who don't have jobs and drink a lot, k you get it, so yeah, there was this one bum in particular who was making plans for when the oil reached Florida. We laughed. "He's drunk!" we said. "The oil's hundreds of miles away" we knowingly scoffed to each other.
Bummer.

Julia

The trees in the cemetary seem to mock us. There they stand, still alive after centuries, looming over the deceased. They seem to say "I've been here since before all y'all were even a twinkle in your mothers' eyes, and look. You're dead. I'm still standing strong." Trees probably look at us like we look at bugs. Short life expectancies. Easily expendable. But then again, we seem to live fuller. Sure there are risks involved in driving cars, talking on cell phones and eating hot pockets, but who wants to be made of bark and covered in bird poop. I'll take my 75 years over your 300, you tree you.

hot fuzz

As the cashier ran my groceries through the scanner, she held up the bottle of ginger beer and said "huh...does this taste anything like beer?". "Well, it's ginger beer" I replied, avoiding the question all together. "Oh. Right." It might taste like beer. I don't know. I've never had beer. It tastes like ginger. Because it's ginger beer. But then again does rootbeer taste like root? Regardless, it was awkward. And confusing. I'm usually mistaken for a twelve year old, not a heavy drinker. I think my complete inability to anwser her question let the poor cashier know that she had indeed incorrectly guessed my identity. I pulled out my phone and called time and temperature to avoid any further conversing while she focused intently on the sliced mushrooms' barcode. So, any way, I just opened the full grocery bag to find four hershey bars. I'm supposing it's apology chocolate. "Sorry for my wild assumptions about your familiarity with alcohol" Chocolate. Either that or the bag boy messed up. whatever.

Birds have started diving at my head again. Must be nest building time.